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I can not figure out how to get the posts to show in order of writing. Please use the archive list to start or continue at a point that chronologicly makes more sense than reading everything from latest to earliest, or backwards. The PTSD posts begin on 5/29/09

Saturday, June 6, 2009

It's the weekend, just want to post this

I am trying to relax for the weekend, so I do not want to post about what is going on in my life. Instead I just want to post something that I have a copy of, something from a fellow vet's wife on the subject. I did not go through anywhere near as much as he did, I did not fight in the jungles of Vietnam on a daily basis, only accasionally during my tour. 3 tours is too much for anyone to handle back then. The memories of that much trauma is too much for anybody to keep in their minds and hearts.

"TO MY VIETNAM VET- YOU, ME AND PTSD..."
Written by Sharon L. Lugdon, wife of a V/N Vet

"I heard the words PTSD-Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Immediately my mind went into overdrive. It sounded like some of what my vet had been experiencing. My vet's mood could change very quickly. I never realized there was anything wrong with him. I would say to him, "you act just like your father."

For years I felt him toss and turn in bed beside me. He'd moan and groan, sometimes crying out- nightmares. Rarely did we talk about Nam, but, when we did, I captured every word, storing them away. There was always negativity about the way he was treated when he returned to the good ol' USA.

I believe to this day he did not want to burden our children or me with the terrible things he saw. I suppose if you could think of the very worst thing that could happen in Vietnam- it probably happened to my vet.

Three years, three purple hearts, living day to day, meal to meal... Was there any food to eat? Were they going to get supplies, ammunition, before they ran out? Not being able to wash for weeks. Being so damn scared that Charlie might be right around the corner, waiting to kill you. Don't close your eyes- you might not wake up. Running, always running from foxhole to another. A tree, mound of dirt, anything you could hide behind and catch your breath then run again. My God, how horrible to exist like that. I don't know how governmental officials slept at night.

I am so proud of my vet for enduring such ungodly days and nights defending our country. I proudly stand facing our nation telling everyone how proud I am that my husband fought in such a place. On his first tour he was only 20 years old, amazing isn't it? I pray for peace for him- a nights sleep without seeing the faces and bodies of friends wounded, slaughtered.

Days go by, a new day starts. The look in his eyes, at times, brings tears to my eyes. We, spouses of vets, can only imagine if they will ever have a really good day.

I will be there for my vet for the long haul. We will work on this thing called PTSD for the rest of our lives."